Freddy Vs. Jason

I’ll start by saying, I finished Freddy Vs. Jason smiling. It wasn’t the adolescent and poorly delivered humor. It wasn’t the gaudy blood spewing visual effects. It wasn’t the fact that this was much more of a street fighter movie than a horror film.

It was the fact that I didn’t pay for it.

The high point of the movie was over after the first 3 minutes of film rolled. It started with a naked visitation to the start of the Jason series. From there, it was all downhill. I was left feeling like a horny teenager after a bad date: going home without getting any.

For those wondering how they brought Freddy and Jason together, the setup is easy. Freddy is bored in Hell, he wants to moleste more children, but he’s in Hell, and nobody remembers him any more. If nobody remembers him, he can’t moleste children. He needs somebody to break out of hell to kill people and implant his memory back into the populous. That’s where Jason comes into the mix. The problem is that Jason keeps killing more and more people, and Freddy gets an inferiority complex. The every-so-clear headed teens decide to pull Freddy out of their dreams and into reality where they can have Jason kill him.

Freddy’s right. He was forgotten. The magic that was presented in the first Nightmare on Elm Street movie was lost a long time ago.

I’ve been watching Horror films for over 2 decades, and I can appreciate the caddy and often over zealous acts that some directors take to conjure that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. This was not one of them.

Save this one for your buddies bad DVD collection and for a time when you you can get really drunk and laugh at it.

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