Pirates of the Caribbean

Pirate movies, to say the least, are pretty scarce. It’s one of those taboo subjects Hollywood cowers at. Let’s face it, pirate movies are either a version of the literary classic Treasure Island or they suck. Sometimes both. Probably the last pirate movie I bothered to see, and actually enjoyed, required Jim Henson’s Muppets to make it interesting.

Like a sudden wind to the sails, though, Disney proudly launches their first in what would appear to be many movies based on their most popular theme park attractions, instead of vice versa. And wow! Do they pull it off!

Pirates of the Caribbean, The Curse of the Black Pearl starts off cornily (is that a word?) enough, with a young girl on the bow of an eighteenth century British sailing ship, singing the same tune that gets driven into our heads while on the Disneyland ride. First I thought, oh great, it’s gonna be like that, throwing all kinds of modern day references from the evil empire (Disney) at us like so many cannonballs. Fortunately, I was wrong. The story almost instantly takes hold and you forget that this was inspired by a flume ride from the 50’s.

A better cast could not have been chosen. Keira Knightly, a dead ringer for Natalie Portman and our female lead is stunning in the gowns of the period, despite her character’s hatred of them. She plays the predictable Disney heroine,a spunky young girl who longs for more out in a wider world (Belle, Jasmine, Cinderella, shall I go on?). Johnny Depp plays the playboy pirate, out to get revenge on the captain that took his ship and maybe make a doubloon or two in the process. Orlando Bloom, fresh from LOTR, plays the lowly heartthrob who longs for the privelaged girl (Aladdin, Beast, Tramp) and sets off to save her, despite the likely rejection. Finally, Geoffrey Rush, the haunted pirate captain of the Black Pearl, is dark and threatening even when he’s not an enchanted rotting corpse.

Here’s the short of the plot, without spoilers. Evil pirates with a curse that turn them into undead skeletons are out to capture every last bit of cursed gold in order to break the spell. 18th century babe has said last piece of gold and is kidnapped by said pirates. Under-appreciated heartthrob gives chase with the help of suave, comedic, eccentric pirate with his own intentions. Action ensues.

I’m confident that although simplistic, the movie could have easily stood on it’s own feet without the need for fancy ILM effects. But seriously, what fun is that!?!? Not to worry, Pirates’ effects are well over par. Stunts and computer generated characters are not often a lasting marriage, but you wouldn’t know it here. The most impressive scenes pitted human against skeleton in swordplay a la Harryhausen. The tricky part is that all the skeletons are human, until they hit moonlight. Whatever gets hit by moonlight changes to corpse and back again when shadowed, as if placing and removing a veil. Although the transitions are smooth, there are some bumps in continuity after seeing it a few times. For example, Captain Barbosa (Rush) as a human dons the traditional pirate costume, complete with hat and feather, cloak, shirt, boots, etc that cover his frame. Oh but hey, walk into the moonlight and except for shreds of clothing and the full, unchanged hat, the good captain’s parts are showing. The same holds true for the entire cursed crew. Believe me though, unless you are REALLY picking it apart, you won’t notice.

Cannonballs, pistols and swords, oh my. Authentic surroundings, weapons and ships, some built from the ground up, add to the whole experience. Sea battles aren’t lost, nor are the looting and pillaging you would expect. As tempting as it may be, you’ll probably want to wait till you get home to start spouting “Argh”‘s and “Aye Matey”‘s, unless you want people to look at you funny.

Bottom line? Go see it. Reminiscent of the style, comedy and overall look of Disney’s Three Musketeers, this is a fun summer movie and a definite DVD buy later in the year. Look for that review in the future.

Argh!

Christopher Kirkman

Christopher is an old school nerd: designer, animator, code monkey, writer, gamer and Star Wars geek. As owner and Editor-In-Chief of Media Geeks, he takes playing games and watching movies very seriously. You know, in between naps.

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