The Mummy : Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

It’s truly disappointing when you can clearly tell the filmmakers of a movie clearly don’t care what they do with a movie franchise. When one of the main actors of the franchise has issue with the screenplay, you know that’s a bad sign.

With morbid curiousity and somewhat free ticket to see the film, I dragged a fellow Media Geeks to see Universal’s MUMMY 3: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR. Going into this movie was not expecting much. I simply figured that it would be a disappointing summer sequel, but they manage to raise the bar on how disappointing it could be.

First, the plot. To be perfectly honest, this was pretty much the same formula as THE MUMMY RETURNS. Bad guys release evil guy. The O’Connell’s try to stop him from getting where he’s going. They fail. Big massive battle scene. Big last fight with evil guy. O’Connell’s save the day. Johnathan walks away with diamond at the end. It was just doomed from the start, considering that the writers of this movie are the same of the ill fated and dead-on-arrival Aquaman television series.

Next, the cast change. With all due respect, Maria Bello is a great actress, but she shouldn’t have tried to replace Rachel Weisz as Evelyn. In the first two movies, she truly made that character her own, but Maria’s version was just too cookie cutter english woman. Wether it was on purpose or not, Maria looks like her Evelyn might’ve had a son in his late twenties / early thirties, but Brenden Fraiser’s Rich O’Connell looks the same as he always does. Thus making his look kid look like a college roommate or drinking buddies of his.

Finally, the comedy. It just wasn’t that funny. There were a few jokes that had a chance, but due to the fact you already knew them from the trailer, they just lost the punch it might’ve had, if any. Which brings me to the part of the movie where it became obvious the filmmakers just weren’t really trying. I hate to spoil this for you all, but there’s a part where the yeti help the O’Connell’s fight the bad guys. During such a fight, one of them kicks the bad guy in the groin up over a asian architechual arch, which inspires the yeti on the said arch to throw up his hands for a field goal. Now, come on. It’s questionable if american football was even invented yet, but it’s just stupid and tacky. I mean, we might’ve well seen a twinkle in Evelyn’s eye when she looks at Rick, or a POW when Rick punches a bad guy.

If I had spent any more time or money than I did to see this movie, I’d be pissed. It’s not the worst movie I’ve ever see, but it’s certainly isn’t worth much of anybody time or money. Sorry Universal, I think it’s time to close the door on this franchise.

Todd Lipska

Todd's geekiness started off early with his family's first computer: a TRS-80. As a contributing writer, head photographer, lead programmer and one of the founders of Media Geeks, well, suffice it to say, he's a busy guy.

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