Oh Crap! Water from the Sky!

I live in the Los Angeles area, though I’ve traipsed up and down the great state of Cali and LA is the only city to my privvy that has a general fear of rain. The rest of the country has this perception that it never rains in sunny California, and I’m beginning to believe that the local news media is catering to them.

Here’s how it rolls out. Clouds excrete a clear fluid that falls to the earth composed mostly of hydrogen and oxygen. Local news programs whip out their Dopplers to identify the clouds at large, then hit the streets to get John Q Public’s opinion on this travesty by mother nature. The public? Yeah, they could care less. Most of the man-on-the-street inteviews go something like this:

Field Reporter: “Can you believe all this rain? How does that make you feel?”
Stunned Onlooker: “Um… well, it’s wet. Guess I’m gonna have to remember an umbrella next time”
Back at the Studio: “Wow, looks wet out there, well, stay dry Field Reporter guy, heh heh. Glad I’m not out there.”

I actually heard a reporter refer to expected showers as a rain EVENT. To paraphrase George Carlin, Do I need to get tickets for this?!?!? To boot, they even give these segments titles like Storm Watch 2006, like it’s a military operation. ITS JUST RAIN! We aren’t talking about a world wide catastrophe, so report the weather, maybe show a couple shots of the city, but lets not spend 20 minutes on it.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject, no one gives a rats rectum about a cat somewhere in bummsville Conneticut that’s been put on house arrest. It’s not news. It’s crap. If you aren’t going to report my bowel movements, don’t report this stuff.