Episode 1 Coming to 3D Glasses Near You
It’s true. I’m a Star Wars fan. A big one. I’ve have no shame in saying I LIKED the ewoks. Phantom Menace was a lot of fun. Even Jar Jar Binks has a place in my heart (a very small, quiet place, but it’s there). So today’s announcement that Episode 1’s 3D remastering will open in theaters February 10th, 2012, only one thought went through my head:
Don’t care.
That probably comes as a shock even if you don’t know me very well. I’ve expressed my opinion about 3D movies in my reviews before, but the bottom line is that it adds very little in the way of substance to a movie and like all good effects, if it’s done well, you won’t even notice it’s there. By that standard though, why bother?
The Star Wars universe has certainly had a hand in my wallet every since I was old enough to have a wallet. Remastering these movies threatens to set a bad precedence in Hollywood: re-release your movies in 3D and you can charge double. It’s as much a money grabbing scam as any Ponzi scheme. Unfortunately, it’s working.
If they want to re-release them in plain old 2D, I’d probably work a screening in. I paid 12 bucks last summer to see Empire in the famous Cinerama Dome, but 3D equates to a headache, dizziness and buyer’s remorse every time.
So Georgy, I’m sorry, but you won’t be seeing my cash this time around. Even when A New Hope 3D hits theaters in 2015, I’ll be at home watching my DVDs and not throwing up.
