New James Bond = 00 Wuss!

As a studio insider, I try not to criticize casting more than I have
to, I believe that a good script and a talented director can make
almost any actor work in a role. Plus these casting directors – they
are professionals right, they must know what they are doing right?

When the news broke that Pierce Brosnan would not be reprising his role
as James Bond – which I have to admit was disappointing to me, since
unless someone invented a time machine and brought Sean Connery back 40
years to play James Bond again, no one has done it better in my opinion
than Brosnan.

That being said when Daniel Craig was announced
as the new James Bond, I was cautiously optimistic. He was English –
good, unknown to me as a major star – could be good OR bad, and of
course he was blonde (at least in the released headshot) which is of
course very bad! I mean come on Sony, cant you afford , a special shoot
photo session with your new star to dye his hair and put him in a suit
with a PPK?

After filming began my cautious side turned into
embarrassment for a fellow studio when filming the first action scene,
Craig forgot to duck, or otherwise cheat to one side or another and
took a fist to the face and lost his two teeth… the studio played
this up, perhaps to show how tough the new Bond was, but it backfired.
He became the laughing stock of Hollywood. Now I’m no stuntman, but I
have seen how coordinated these Hollywood fights are, and how detail
oriented the coordinators are, especially with the leading man. So I’m
fairly sure a Bozo The Clown Bop Bag could have ducked that punch.

Ok, so assuming it was just bad timing – after filming is halted and
the star has some new choppers, they begin to film the film’s first
driving scene – Craig gets in the car, they are setting up the shot
when Craig admits to producers that he can’t drive the famous 007 Aston
Martin car because… drum roll please…. he can’t drive stick. So
once again production halts while Craig goes to 00 Agent driving school.

But now… the last straw for me during recent filming, a publicist
mentioned how 007 has been sent into hiding in his trailer because of
the worlds biggest villain of all – The Sun! Apparently all the money
and assistants the studio has provided Craig cant keep him from
complaining of severe sunburn! Seems that now he’s “extremely wary of
going outside”. GIVE ME A BREAK – Who is this guy – a loser vampire?

This guy is a huge wuss – I say, give him a real, loaded gun (he’s
likely to dense to check for blanks) and tell him to fire at the floor
for a scene (it will have to be indoors or at night less the powerful
sunrays defeat him). Knowing his history, hopefully he will shoot
himself in the foot, and the studio will be able to recast the role. Of
course this is still the same James Bond production team who in one of
the recent films has a car on the ground out racing a powerful laser
being fired from a satellite in space, so I wont be holding my breath.

If you want real James Bond – go watch the originals, because mark my words this one will be a crapfest!